G.T.L., baby! Gym, Tanning, Laundry

Besides the wonder that is “The Bachelor,” my second favorite current reality show is MTV’s “Jersey Shore.”

No wait… It’s my favorite.

Now, I know you’ve heard of this because of the outrageous behavior and drama surrounding the self-proclaimed “Guidos and Guidettes. ” This little nugget of reality heaven has so much to offer—humor, six-packs, outlandish outfits, hair extensions, random hookups, fights, Jager bombs, hair gel, GTL (gym, tanning, laundry), and, the reason why I watch, so many ridiculous quotes that make me feel better about myself because I’m smart enough to realize how ridiculous they are.

For example, in last night’s episode (I’m counting the two hours as one episode. TWO HOURS?! I fist pumped when I heard it was going to be this long!!!!!), the lovely Ronnie made a comment about how it was time to retire from the bar because they had been there from 12 to 4 and five hours of drinking was just too much. I’m not mathematician, but even I know that’s only 4 hours. Grad school is paying off!

The golden goddess, Snooki (Snickers, Snooks, Snookers, Nichole, Schnooki, what have you) is always one to provide an enormous amount of fuel for fodder. I love that she is a vet tech, loves animals and “doesn’t eat anything that is alive when you kill it.” I put that as my status on Facebook the week she said that glorious little quote and I got quite the reaction from my Facebook friends. Though none knew it was from JS (of the Dirty Jers, as I like to call it) and they all thought I was the one to say it, the obvious comments were, “Would you really want to eat something dead when you kill it?” Duh, friends, this is why I quoted it. She’s genius! I think it’s time to unfriend some of the buffoons I went to high school with who think I’m capable of coming up with a quote this ridiculous all on my own—though I did say last week (when defending my height), “I’ve been measured ever since I was born and I’ve always been 5’5!”… maybe they know me better than I think they do?

Anyway, I will never protest Dirty Jers/Jersey Shore. I think it’s wonderful! I think they are proving that they are fabulous by all of their weekly shenanigans and are raking in enough cash to open their own gyms, tanning salons, or Laundromats, if desired. Keep on keepin’ on, JS!

(SIDE NOTE--Holy crap! I just looked online and saw that next week is the finale! WHAT WILL I DO?!?!?! Thank God that half of MTV’s airtime throughout the day and night is composed of reruns. Phew. No worries! You can count on me buying JS Season 1 as soon as it comes out on DVD… and fist pumping the whole time I’m in the checkout line.)

And the "Please Arrest Me Immediately" Award goes to Ben McKenzie

I'm going to strip search you with my eyes


SouthLAnd

This show is not reality. But close enough. And if I were to be questioned by Ben McKenzie, alone and vulnerable in an interrogation room...this would be a welcome event. Thank God TNT picked up Southland after NBC boneheadedly dropped it last year. WTF were they thinking? This police procedural is very entertaining and gritty and I'm so glad it's back. Watch it at 10pm tonight...there's no commercials!

Will You Accept this Rose?

Alright friends (and people I don’t know). I have a confession to make. I’m addicted to the Bachelor. It’s sort of a love/hate relationship we have with one another. I have watched just about every season (though I rarely admit to this) and just continue to watch the show because I can’t believe how dumb some girls can be. I also always think it’s going to work out and the majority of them haven’t.

Now, in the past, I’ve had my own “blonde moments.” I’ll admit that from time to time I’m “flaky.” But, you will never see my mug on national television crying over some guy I don’t even know. You’ll also never see me on television professing my undying love for a man who is chasing after 24 other women. No, I’m realistic enough to know that I cannot compete with supermodels, women with fake bubbies, hair, nails, or teeth. If these are the things men are interested in, well, ……… I’m screwed…….

But Jake… he’s different. I’d let him see me in a bathing suit because I think he’d tell me how great I look, even though it’s a tattered Target one-piece and I’m lumpy. I think that even if I drank a bit too much of the free booze they’re tossing around at all hours of the day on that show, he’d tell me that my breath smelled as lovely as one of his coveted roses. I think that if I tripped as I was about to “accept this rose,” he’d catch me in his muscle-y arms and tell me that he was going to fly me off into the sunset “one the wings of love.” And I’d fall for it all.


Is this man real?


My vote is that he’s an Avatar.

Welcome to the CCA, Bitch

While I was attempting to discover a witty name for this blog (ultimately I failed…my partner in crime came up with the wonderfully snarky title) I first saw that the definition of reality is “the state of things as they actually exist.” I laughed out loud. For us, as a society, to accept that what the media calls “reality television” as true reality is absurdly laughable. Sure, if it’s caught on camera it happened in one sense or another, but whose reality is it? The Bachelor, My Super Sweet Sixteen, Survivor, and Keeping Up with the Kardashians certainly aren’t my reality. The Real World may portray the stereotypical lives of many young people, but seriously who lives in a house with a pool table, hot tub, and 20 cameras watching them have sex? (If you said “Oh I do!” please just stop reading this. You probably aren’t going to like what we have to say).

But reality television is here to stay. There are so many manifestations of it that it’s not going anywhere soon. So this blog is the collaboration of two ex-college roommates (we didn’t divorce each other, we just graduated from college). We don’t claim to be above reality television because we, like so many others, watch it every night and then text each other about it. All we are doing in this blog is creating a dialog on the insanity and hilarity of reality TV shows, and maybe once in awhile questioning why we care about it at all. We will also bestow weekly awards on noteworthy events in reality TV and the greater realm of pop culture. I mean, hell, we’ll just talk about whatever we want pretty much. Please attempt to enjoy our posts, and if you don’t you probably wouldn’t like us anyway. :)